I felt inspired to share about our pets having a positive impact on our overall wellbeing, and especially our mental health.
If your pet regularly does something that annoys you, pay attention: your animal companion may be telling you something important — not only about their needs, but about your own wellbeing.
Our fascination with communicating with animals goes back centuries. Usually, the flow of communication is us trying to get a message across to them. But every animal lover knows those moments when your pet feels like they’re ‘trying to tell you something’. And often, their messages go much deeper than we realise.
When we ignore the subtle ways our animals express themselves, they may amplify their behaviour. This may not always be the cause of an issue, but if we continue not to listen, the signals can escalate and create major disruptions in the household.
How we move, speak, and show up emotionally has a powerful effect on our pets. In turn, they can act like sensitive mirrors — reflecting our stress, our moods, and even our internal conflicts back to us. And remarkably, they can also be a grounding presence that supports our mental health, simply by encouraging us to slow down, observe, and reconnect.
Research and lived experience alike show that pets can lower our stress levels, raise our oxytocin (the “connection” hormone), ease loneliness, and increase daily structure and joy. Their presence can soothe our nervous system, and their behaviour often alerts us when our emotional balance is off.
This is why listening to them isn’t just about improving their behaviour — it’s also a gentle invitation to check in with our own inner state.
What can I do to help my pet?
I believe that some behaviours should not be tolerated — such as excessive barking without cause, mouthing, or becoming unfriendly. However, these behaviours require close attention as well as behaviours such as plucking feathers, sulking, following you everywhere, staring constantly, changes in eating habits, or mirroring your physical pains, require closer attention.
Animals are sentient beings who communicate in diverse ways. They need us to listen — just as we need to be heard.
I experienced this firsthand with one of my dogs, Toby (may he rest in peace), used to stare at me for years. I would often ask him, “What are you thinking?” It wasn’t until I realised I could truly hear animals communicate that Toby flooded me with information, thrilled that I could finally understand him. This shift stemmed from an extraordinary moment in 2011, when a snake in the wild approached me with a message: “Do your job… connect animals to humans.” But that is a story for another time…
Once I could understand him, Toby “spoke” so quickly that I could hardly keep up. His excitement was undeniable.
This is why it is so important to listen — not just with our ears, but with our eyes, our intuition, and our whole presence.
Pets sense exactly what is happening within us. They know when we are stressed, overwhelmed, sad, or misaligned. And when we don’t adjust, they escalate their behaviour: they stare, withdraw, disrupt routines, or even run away briefly, to name a few unwanted behaviours.
And on the flip-side, they also sense our happy moments! And this is demonstrated by your pets being relaxed, happy, playful and in a listening mood!
And when we listen to them (tuning in), something beautiful happens. Not only do we understand them better — our emotional load lightens, our bond deepens, and both human and animal become calmer and more connected.
Instead of talking, punishing, or dismissing your pet’s behaviour, begin by observing closely and asking:
And you know what? I am positive that as an animal lover, you already know your pets.
Rami, an eight-year-old cuddle-lover, suddenly began sitting on his pet parent’s keyboard and biting her when she moved him. Working from home, she found the behaviour intolerable.
Rami’s pet parent took dedicated time to ‘sense’ what the issue is and discovered that one of her work roles was draining her and not aligned with her wellbeing. She reduced her workload within a month — and Rami instantly returned to his sweet, affectionate self.
Not only did his behaviour improve, but his guardian felt mentally lighter and calmer after making a change she had long resisted.
A 14.5-year-old dog began eating her human’s underwear — a behaviour that made her quite sick and deeply worried her pet parent.
When her guardian finally sat and listened, the message became clear: their cherished walking routine had been disrupted due to new ‘needs’ of the horses living on their property. A friend had taken over the dog-walking duties, but the dog wanted her human back. She missed their bonding time, which had been a daily emotional anchor for them both.
Once her guardian adjusted her routine and reclaimed their shared walks, the dog returned to her happy, connected self — and her guardian regained a calming ritual that supported her own mental wellbeing.
These stories are just two examples of how pets communicate what’s best, not only for themselves, but often for us.
I warmly invite you to observe your pet more closely for a few days. Notice:
Once you gain clarity on what’s different, revisit the previous three questions. Then take a breath, connect inward, and reflect on what has changed within you.
Pets often reflect our stress, loneliness, or emotional overload — and by addressing these internal shifts, we support both their wellbeing and our own mental health.
Our pets are more than companions — they are emotional anchors, intuitive mirrors, and steadfast supporters of our mental wellbeing. When we choose to observe, listen, and adjust, both human and animal thrive.
Together, you and your pet can make a profound impact on each other’s lives — deepening your relationship and creating a happier, more connected life for you both.
Connecting with an animal is often the first step toward reconnecting with ourselves. I hope this week you find a quiet moment to simply be with your pet and see what they might be mirroring back to you.
I’d love to hear your story:
Is your pet currently acting as a mirror for something in your life? Or perhaps you have a memory of a "Toby" or a "Rami" who helped you see your own needs more clearly?
With love and connection,
Bianca
P.S. No keyboards were harmed (or sat upon) in the writing of this article. Rami finally approved…